tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5984330172864524471.post3334818275650912628..comments2023-06-09T03:15:49.137-07:00Comments on Keeping Ghosts Alive: An update.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10544791837342990937noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5984330172864524471.post-50618457557840011152014-08-31T15:02:28.877-07:002014-08-31T15:02:28.877-07:00You're ever welcome, Heather! :)You're ever welcome, Heather! :)JayD7https://www.blogger.com/profile/17096234801062675958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5984330172864524471.post-81034260460611318092014-08-31T14:53:36.136-07:002014-08-31T14:53:36.136-07:00Thanks, Jude! Your critique is really helpful. Thi...Thanks, Jude! Your critique is really helpful. This particular book of mine still needs a LOT of work. :)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10544791837342990937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5984330172864524471.post-59192283384697628652014-08-31T12:12:54.434-07:002014-08-31T12:12:54.434-07:00Hi, Heather!
Love to see that you're already ...Hi, Heather!<br /><br />Love to see that you're already working on 'two' novels.. that's inspiring for a short story blogger like me..<br /><br />Anyway, the intro..<br /><br />Good first draft.. I would say.. it shouldn't be the final thing though.. There's some noticeable gaps here and there that you can work on.. for example:<br />'It was just the two of us." The two of who? You and the man? or you and your brother?<br />In what nature were you sold? As a slave or as a prostitute? And for how long? And also, on getting back home after a week.. had you escaped? Or were you simply set free? These are some details that just can't be left to the reader's imagination.<br /><br />The rest is actually quite intriguing.. I love the imagery you've employed.. Please keep me posted on your progress. <br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />A random enthusiast :DJayD7https://www.blogger.com/profile/17096234801062675958noreply@blogger.com